Lionel the Christmas Tree wasn't like the other trees
Instead of a star he had a shrieking shrunken head
"Why did Maggie make me?" he asked with a wheeze
But Maggie just stared and ate bread.
When the other Christmas trees all saw him on Facebook
Some of them laughed, and some called him names
Some of them screamed, and some of them shook
And Lionel hung his shrunken head in shame.
'Why am I not like the other trees?' he pondered
'Why are they so pretty, and yet I'm so scary?'
And so Lionel went on a quest and wandered
To the realm of the Sugar Plum Fairy
The snow turned to sugar and the hills to marshmallow
And then Lionel stood leering at Sugar Cube Castle
The marzipan guards all shouted "HELLO!"
And brought Lionel to their king, who proceeded to sass him
"What, what, what are you doing?" SPF cried,
And flipped his scarf with a cocked hip and a pout.
"The other trees make fun of me," Lionel replied,
To which SPF said, "I don't care, get out!"
"Won't you give me a make-over, so I can be pretty?"
Lionel asked, looking very unpleasant.
SPF could see that he looked rather shitty,
So he gave him a nicely wrapped present.
Inside the box was a mirror, and at first Lionel scoffed
Until SPF so wisely bid,
"You're a frickin tree! Take the damn head off!"
So Lionel reached up and he did.